Monday, September 17, 2012

How My Toddler Is Like My Pit Bull

People always compare raising a kid, to raising a puppy. Other people always roll their eyes and say that you can't compare apples to oranges. Well my friends, you can compare apples and oranges. I have raised a few dogs but only one child, and I can tell you that there are many things Bean has in common with my dogs. Especially my pit bull, Gusto. Looking beyond the fact that they both have no concept of personal space, here's a quick list of how my toddler is like my pit bull.

I have to clean up their shit. This one obviously speaks, or smells, for itself. I have to change diapers, and pick up my dogs poop unless I want angry neighbors, or poopy shoes. At least I don't have to wipe Gusto's butt! He does that himself, haha.

They both love to play fetch. How do I wear out Gusto? I throw a ball around the backyard, or his lovey (yes he has a lovey, it's a pink dragon-manly, right?) around the house. How do I keep Bean entertained while I poop? I throw whatever object that is in her hand, as she follows me into the bathroom, down the hall over and over until I'm finished with my bizz-nass. She loves it! Seriously, I'm pretty sure it's one of her favorite activities.

They both can be extremely annoying when they're hungry. When my adamant little bean is determined to nurse (or when I've made her wait so I can finish whatever it is I was in the middle of), she signs 'milk please' then proceeds to pull my shirt down to get the goods. Gus just sits and whines, and whines, and whines. I swear, it's the most obnoxious noise in the world.

When I catch them with something they know they're not supposed to have, they drop it like a hot potato and flee the scene. Bean has actually started throwing the object and dashing off in the opposite direction, while evilly laughing until we catch her. I should say that we have a Yes environment, so she's allowed to play with everything but occasionally she starts playing too rough with something, or has daddy's iphone in the dogs water bowl (whoops!). Usually with my pit bull we catch him eating poop and he scarfs it down as fast as he can while my husband or I yell at him, and then we runs away from the scene of the crime as we approach him to put him inside the house for bad behavior. Nasty dog.

They both give you BIG hugs when you ask for them. I mean BIG, squeezing hugs. Bean wraps her little arms around my neck and squeezes as hard as she can, and Gusto puts his head over your shoulder and slightly behind your neck and squeezes gently. A hug from either one of them warms my heart. Our other dogs will get hugs when you ask, but Gus is the only one who truly hugs you back.